Friday, February 10, 2012

Keeping a happy marriage

With Valentine’s approaching…I thought this would be an appropriate topic. Especially when just a year ago on Valentine’s day…I honestly felt a major disconnect with my husband. Our relationship had always been pretty good, but things had just gotten off.
Jeff had been traveling almost every week since October 2008. We didn’t know if we were ever going to be blessed with having children, so we decided if this is a job he really wanted to pursue, go for it. Low and behold, we found out I was expecting right after he took this new job that required travel 3-4 times a week. Talk about Murphy’s Law. Not the ideal situation, but we were just so thrilled to be pregnant that we would make the best of it.
By the time the new year rolled around last year, he was just DONE with his job, even when they offered him a promotion-it just wasn’t what he wanted to do anymore. So, I am sure he was a little down, overweight and tired! All ditto for me. What a pair! Can you imagine why we didn’t have alot of romance? We used what little energy we had to focus on Reed and our relationship was put on the back burner.
Thankfully, a great opportunity pretty much fell in his lap last February and he ended up taking the new job which was local. That has helped tremendously because he was much happier in his job and was beginning to lose weight which equals more energy. And we were able to have family dinners every night which is so important to us.
Last year on Valentine’s we decided that “we” needed to make “us” a priority again. Since then, we have weekly “date” nights after Reed goes to bed and about once a month we get a sitter and go out. Sometimes we go out to dinner by ourselves or with friends, sometimes just for a coffee to chat or a local winery like we did last month. It’s great to go out, but really taking the time to talk to one another is the KEY! I am still amazed how awesome our relationship is now. We feel so connected and are a team again. I have to say, it’s even better than when we first were together-we have grown so much and there is just a deeper connection & intimacy. TMI??? LOL!
Our relationship didn’t change overnight, it actually was an adjustment once he stopped traveling for me. I was used to doing my own thing several nights a week for 2 1/2 years, but now I couldn’t imagine him not being around all the time. It’s so important for us as a couple & for Reed to have his dad around. They have built such a special relationship and I want that for them.
This past year we both got our acts together and got healthy and lost weight. We both feel better about ourselves which makes us happier, we have way more energy and just plain feel good. How can you put a price on that? We have a better relationship and are better parents because we aren’t tired all the time.
I also did some things just for me, besides losing weight and making healthier food choices. I felt I needed a creative outlet. Hence, this blog ‘GreenWay Home’ was born. I wanted to be able to share in a community about decorating, crafting, cooking, homekeeping, being  healthy, living green and the loves of my life, all the things that keep me passionate in life!
I really feel like everything that we implemented in our lives this past year has made our marriage better. If each person is happy, then it’s so much easier to be happier together. And I really think the key to our marriage is that we really just want each other to be happy so we do things or support each other in what they want to do, from even the littlest things. This year when we went away for our anniversary-it was AMAZING. I feel guilty that I wanted to stay longer(not that I didn’t want to see Reed, but gosh it was nice for just the two of us). We are at such a good place in our lives right now that is almost scares me.
They say one of the best ways to help your kids confidence is to show them a loving marriage. Reed often will say, “Daddy kissed Mommy” or vice versa and we tell him it’s because we love each other and then he smiles. It’s not like we are smooching all the time in front of him, but I think it’s important for him to see how much we love each other and I think it makes him feel secure in our family. He isn’t at the age where he is like “ewwww”, yet. LOL!
Saturday we are celebrating Valentine's Day. We used to ALWAYS stay in on Valentine’s day because it was more romantic because we always went out to eat. Now it’s a treat to go out.  We have chosen to rarely eat out for both our health and food allergy safety, so when we do, we so look forward to it. We don’t do a fancy dinner too often anymore, but for Valentine’s or our anniversary, it warrants it. I love to get all dolled up for a night on the town. Hmmmm, now what am I going to wear! :)
Here are some ‘at home’ date night ideas I pinned on my marriage board that I plan to do this year, thought you might be interested too.

What are your plans for Valentine’s day? Do you go out or stay in?

The Cinch Weight Loss plan really helped turn me around…things are just better when you have energy & feel good. Losing weight can do that. And this is the right way to do it and keep the weight off!
banner_WeightManagement (1)

1 comment:

  1. I really enjoyed your post. Focusing on your marriage is so important. I am glad to hear that Jeff has a local job. I don't know how you made it without him being home during the week for so long. We make sure to get our date nights in and our kids LOVE babysitters so it is a win-win for us all. Happy Valentines Day.